Dispelling the Clouds
by Mirawolf
Summary: When Linley Parker's death takes it's toll on Catherine and Grissom who can they turn to who will understand?


**Dispelling the Clouds**

Authors: Claudiajean17 & Mirawolf

Summary: When Linley Parker's death takes it's toll on Catherine and Grissom who can they turn to who will understand?

Spoilers: Bloodlines

Setting: The end of Season 4

Notes: Story is for the 50 Fic Challenge

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I never will. How sad :(

Gil got in his car and drove toward home. He couldn't help himself from thinking about the bizarre events that had unfolded in their last case. Linley Parker had been attacked and raped; she had been through such an ordeal but was still alive. He was there when she had looked at the line up and identified Todd as her attacker. She had seemed so sure, he had agreed with Catherine on that point. She had seemed positive.

When the DNA did not allow them to keep Todd in custody he had felt powerless to help this woman. Then when he got the call that Linley had contacted Catherine and was taken off Fremont Street, he had felt as helpless as everyone else had. All those people just standing around and no one saw or heard anything. He had to wonder when an abduction could take place in the middle of a crowd, if all the things that keep us busy in life are going to make us happy or destroy us in the end. His experience had led him to think that it was the latter.

He always felt responsible for the victims but especially when they were alive when they came to his attention. When they could have continued living if he had only been able to get that piece of evidence to keep Todd in jail.

He could still see it in his head, when they found the cell phone in her jacket and then the officer had called their attention to the body. Doc Robbins had been able to tell him that she had been raped again before she was strangled to death. All of this could have been prevented. These facts just made his resolve solidify into steel. Todd had killed her and he would make sure that he went to jail for the rest of his life.

At the moment when they came upon the body he had seen Catherine's reaction and had easily realized that Cath would take this hard. He knew her too well to think that she wasn't feeling as guilty as he was. She had been on the focus of Todd ever since the line up and had not wavered for a second. When Catherine asked him if he didn't like the guy for this, had Greg not interrupted, he would have said he did like him for it. His evidence had failed for the first time.

At the end of the case when he was with Cath in the observation room explaining all the information that had led him to figure out what he knew about Todd he couldn't put in words what he had wanted to say to her.

Catherine sat in her darkened living room. Through the glass French doors on the other side of the kitchen she could see the stars in the breaks between the clouds and she felt tears once again burning the backs of her eyes as she fought to keep them at bay. Linley Parker's face invaded her thoughts every time she closed her eyes and she felt like she'd never be able to sleep again. She saw her in the polka dot hospital gown when the nurse had finished she'd looked at Catherine with eyes full of determination as she described what had happened to her. She saw her when the sketch artist had shown her the face of her attacker staring back at her in charcoal against the stark white background. She saw the absolute conviction with which she'd identified Todd Coombs and finally she saw the desperation on her face when Catherine had told her that they'd let him go. She'd been right and they'd been wrong. For once Catherine cursed the science, cursed the inaccuracy and the time it had taken to realize the mistake. She knew people would say it was a random anomaly, something they could never have predicted but ultimately she knew that they'd let Linley down, they'd failed to protect her and even when she'd asked Catherine for help all she'd had to offer her was the same "official" line that she'd give any other victim. That, she told herself, was why she'd hear that phone call in her worst nightmares until the day she died. Forget the science, forget the rest of the team Linley had reached out to her and she'd failed. Catherine ran her fingers through her hair saying a silent thank you that her mother was there to watch Lindsey, wrapping her thick woolen jacket around her tightly she stepped out into the cold night, closing the door quietly behind her and heading for the car. She knew there was only one way she was going to get through this and only one person who would understand. As she drove she flipped open her cell phone and hit speed dial "1". When the husky voice on the other end rang in her ear all she said was "I'm coming over", before she closed the phone and focused her mind on the road ahead and her ultimate destination.

Gil was waiting in the living room for her when she pulled up. He beat her to the door and opened it to see her tear stained face show a small smile. He opened his arms to her and she seemed to just melt into his body. After a minute she seemed to be more at peace and he led her into the living room. When she had settled on the couch he offered her a drink, and she asked for a scotch. He looked at her for a second raising his eyebrow to new heights. He then walked towards the kitchen and retrieved the bottle of scotch and two glasses and returned to Catherine. He sat and poured the drinks handing one to Cath and taking a long sip of his own. He got comfortable on the sofa next to her and put his arm around her shoulders contemplating what he wanted to say but still not having yet put it into words.

"Cath we have been friends long enough to know that we both feel responsible for what happened to Linley. It's always hardest when we loose them. I haven't ever come across a time where the evidence led me the wrong way. If I went the wrong way it was because I didn't interpret what the evidence was telling me."

Catherine stared into the glass seeing her eyes reflected in the amber liquid as she reflected on what he'd said. The few sips of alcohol she'd now got in her system combined with his company already taking the edge off the anguish she was feeling when she arrived, but the painful knotting in her stomach still pulled her back to reality. With him beside her the horror of what happened seemed more bearable because she knew he understood, she knew he felt the same level of responsibility as she did and although his perspective may be different his pain is just as real. She knew she could sit here all night and not say a word and he'd be there for her just as she was for him, that he'd not press her to talk, but she came to him because she needed to. She took a deep breath and stared at him, trying to hold back further tears that where massed and ready to charge should she give them the slightest opportunity.

"I know we followed the evidence" she said finally, her voice shaky "We followed protocol and took all the right samples and I know that there was no reason for us to suspect those samples would lead us in the wrong direction but I still feel that somehow we failed, that I failed. Linley reached out to me Gil, you're the one who always says I'm the 'people person' yet when she was frightened and angry all I did was give her my cell phone number and a few lines straight out of the CSI trainee handbook. You know if I'd have been in her shoes I'd have been terrified, she knew we were wrong and all I told her was she was stressed so her eyes were playing tricks on her. All I can hear is the sound of her voice on the other end of the phone Gil, the breaking glass, the scream, then I close my eyes and there she is on the layout table. Me and her in that room, me with a pair of tweezers and a camera following protocol again and her body screaming at me that it was all my fault. I don't see a way through this one Gil I've worked worse cases and dealt with more violently abused victims but I swear I'll take the images of Linley Parker to my grave. I don't know what to do to make it better."

She finished talking and the tears were coming again, laying her head back on the back of the couch she tried to fight them but in the end she lost and instead sat quietly sobbing. Sobbing for the loss of her belief that the truth lies in the evidence and for the victim she might have been able to save had that evidence not played such a cruel trick on her.

He tightens his hold on her and hugs her to himself. He needs her nearness as much as she needs his. He tries to give her some of the comfort he possesses. Being close helps but it does not seem enough for either of them.

"We'll get through this Cath. We always do. I feel responsible for Linley too. You were always firm that he was the right guy. You tried to tell me that something wasn't right with the investigation, but I didn't listen to you. I listened to the evidence that hadn't steered me wrong, until now. I should have trusted in you more. My job has always been to find the killer before they did it again, and I failed at that job. Linley had to pay for my actions and I …"

He stopped talking and just watched her quietly sobbing, tears gracing his cheek as well. There is only one thing that he knows they both want, that would take the last barriers of their relationship away. He would be fully accessible to her and there would be no more obstacles between them. He wished to be there for her heart, soul and body. She had command of the first two since the day he met her, but he gave her his body now, that hopefully it would help them both start to heal. As he put his hands around her face all he could think is that this feels right, and that was the last thought he had as, he kissed her.

Catherine felt his hands on her face and his lips brushing hers and for the first time since they'd known each other her brain failed to intervene with the long list of reasons that they shouldn't take their relationship to this place. She needed to feel the tenderness in his kiss, the promise in the way he held her face and the unspoken assurance that he'd make things better. She deepened his kiss hungrily, the contrast between their personalities that made them so drawn to each other obvious in their expression of their need. She needed to be swept up in what they were doing and to know that for the next few hours she'd be lost in the wonder of the enactment of a two decade long desire. She needed him, every part of him. Throughout her life her reactions to the worst of times had been physical. She'd sought out the comfort of forgetting for the hours that she'd spent in the arms of men who were ultimately bad for her, but this was the first time she'd truly believed that what she was doing would have any effect other than the momentary release of passion induced amnesia. This time she felt that when this was over she'd not be immediately haunted by the ghosts of her original anguish, she knew that he understood her better than anyone and she could face anything if she knew he felt as she did. Their hands were roaming knowingly over each other's bodies with the familiarity of years of imagined encounters. She reacted to his touch and him to hers with low moans and whispered words of encouragement and when he guided her off the couch and toward the bedroom she knew that she'd been wrong. She could come through this and so could he, they could face the worst demons the world had to throw at them so long as they stood together, clinging to the things that were solid and true and had been constant in both their lives. Their friendship, their love and the knowledge that ultimately they succeeded more than they failed. With those things in mind and the final barriers crashing down in their relationship, the future suddenly didn't seem like such a scary place anymore and she knew it never would again.

finis


End file.
